Resolution: 1. A firm decision to do or not do something. 2. The act of finding a solution to a conflict or problem.
How go the resolutions? How many times last year did you put off making a change, saying to yourself or others ‘that will be my New Year’s resolution’? And now the time is here. Or maybe you have given up on making those resolutions after seeing one too many January’s come and go with no change. Change is difficult. We usually save the big ones for New Year’s resolutions. Here are a couple tips to help: Strengthen Motivation Take some time to write out a pros/cons list. What are the pros and cons of making this change? Of not making the change? Next, clarify your highest aspirations and values. Identify how the resolution connects with those. It may help to have an image in mind of how your life will look when you make the desired change. And maybe a scary image of what your life will look like if you don’t. Notice when you are slipping into the deprivation mindset, in which you view giving up a detrimental behavior as just another way in which your life is about not having or losing the things you love. Review your pros/cons list. What will you gain by making this change? Identify Replacement Behaviors Phrase goals in terms of what you will do, rather than what you won’t do. What will you do instead of smoking? Look at your pros/cons of not changing the old behavior. What were the pros of smoking? How can you achieve those ‘pros’ with healthier behaviors? For example, suppose you felt relaxed after the first drag off of a cigarette, and appreciate how quickly it would work. Can you achieve similar relaxation through meditative breathing techniques that can be done in a short amount of time? Make Process Resolutions This is similar to identifying replacement behaviors. When we set goals, we often describe a desired outcome. While it is nice to have an idea of where you are headed, there are clear steps you need to take to get there. Those steps are the process goals. The outcome goals are like the ‘firm decision to do or not so something’ and the process goals are the ‘acts of finding a solution to a conflict or problem.’ Back to the smoking example: Instead of simply stating “I resolve to quit smoking this year,’ resolve to schedule a visit with a doctor to discuss medical options, research support groups, ask family for specific help, and schedule a consultation with a certified hypnotist. The process approach is not just about outlining a plan upfront. When you come up against urges, identify ways to minimize them and make these solutions part of your resolution. For example, if you find yourself craving a cigarette when you pass a certain corner store on the way to work, choose a different route to work, or develop a plan to weaken the unconscious association between that store and buying cigarettes. Maybe you ask a family member to accompany you to that store every day for several weeks and each time you buy something you know a particular coworker would enjoy. The process approach allows us to accumulate small wins along the way, which strengthens motivation. Kyra Bobinet, MD, MPH notes that when we design a process for meeting our goals, we see challenges as opportunities for problem-solving, and we delight in each successful solution. Reinforce Progress Reward yourself for successes along the way. No doubt the old behavior was intrinsically rewarding, so the replacement behaviors have some serious competition. Be prepared with a range of rewards to apply when you resist an urge and/or utilize a replacement behavior, and apply them as immediately after the success as possible. We need an unconscious association between the new behaviors and pleasure, so rewards that light up the pleasure/reward center of the brain go a long way. Practice Once you have identified specific replacement behaviors and solutions to obstacles you face along the way, practice. Don’t wait until your urges are at their peak to practice a new behavior. Practice when you’re calm. Practice breathing techniques morning, noon, and night. Malcolm Gladwell states that it takes 10,000 hours of practice of a skill to become an expert. You’re on your way to becoming an expert at living a life aligned with your highest values and aspirations.
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AuthorColleen Ann McDonald, at your service. Archives
February 2016
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